


I don't want to dance (if I'm not dancing with you)

by iknowplaces



Category: Glee
Genre: 5+1 Things, F/F, Fluff, Gay Awakening, Quinn Focused, Slow Dancing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:54:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21916318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iknowplaces/pseuds/iknowplaces
Summary: The first time Quinn Fabray slow dances, she’s not really even Quinn Fabray yet. She’s Lucy Quinn Fabray, going by Lucy full time, and she’s at her eighth grade graduation dance. The boy involved is Patrick Harrison, her only friend. She’s certain it’s a pity dance, because he’d always had a crush on the more popular girls at their school, but it’s a dance nonetheless and no boy has ever wanted to dance with her. Quinn does her best to enjoy it, he holds her close but not too close, they were both Christian after all, and they had been learning at Sunday School for years to save room for the holy spirit.orfive times Quinn Fabray slow dances, and one time she slow dances with the love of her life
Relationships: Rachel Berry/Quinn Fabray
Comments: 7
Kudos: 126





	I don't want to dance (if I'm not dancing with you)

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays folks, I'm back, and it is not with a new chapter of we were built to fall apart (then fall back together) like you may have expected if you're reading that bad boy. No, it is with this cheesy mess of a fic i wrote in all of two days, at three in the morning. This is really Quinn focused, mostly about her slow dancing, but obviously it ends with faberry, so hopefully this is satisfying, if not apologies lol. Feel free to comment and kudos if you liked it. 
> 
> The title of the fic is from Holy Ground by Taylor Swift and I don't own that song nor do I own glee, its characters, any of the plotlines or any of the songs I reference in this fic.

The first time Quinn Fabray slow dances, she’s not really even Quinn Fabray yet. She’s Lucy Quinn Fabray, going by Lucy full time, and she’s at her eighth grade graduation dance. The boy involved is Patrick Harrison, her only friend. She’s certain it’s a pity dance, because he’d always had a crush on the more popular girls at their school, but it’s a dance nonetheless and no boy has ever wanted to dance with her. Quinn does her best to enjoy it, he holds her close but not too close, they were both Christian after all, and they had been learning at Sunday School for years to save room for the holy spirit. 

Quinn finds it is not enjoyable in the slightest. She likes Patrick, he’s the only friend she’s ever really had as her interests had always scared other kids away. Not many thirteen year olds wanted to hear Quinn rant about classical literature, but Patrick did, and for that she greatly appreciates him, and she thinks she probably _should_ have a crush on him, with his dark hair and nice brown eyes, but she can’t seem to stomach it. The last time she’d had him over for dinner, her mother and sister had squealed happily, said he was adorable and cared for Quinn’s interests and she must _certainly_ have a crush on him, but she just couldn’t wrap her mind around it. She didn’t have any desire to be romantic with her friend, all she wanted was to discuss Oliver Twist and The Tell Tale Heart and this dance was only proving to further her non-desire to date Patrick.

The music was some pop hit from the year, just slow enough to warrant this style of dance, and Patrick’s cologne was so strong she could smell it, despite the two of them being more than a few inches apart, and it wasn’t pleasant. His hands on her waist are clammy and she can feel it through the material of her white dress, leaving her sides coated in sweat. Nothing about this was something she wanted to do, but she felt like she had to, so Quinn Fabray, then Lucy, tried her best to like it.

•¥•

The second time Quinn Fabray slow dances, it’s with Finn Hudson, and this time she’s dropped the glasses and kept her undying love for classic literature a deep secret. They’re together, he’s her first boyfriend, and she’s his first girlfriend and dancing at their homecoming sophomore year should be perfect, but Quinn absolutely hates it. Finn is so tall, so she has to wear tall heels and he has to lean a little for it to work, and it is so not comfortable. 

She has her head resting on his shoulder and her arms around his neck, and she knows this is a proper slow dance, pressed together without space, but she doesn’t like it. It doesn’t make her feel anything except subtle distaste. She knows other girls would love this, they’d love to be this close to the quarterback of the football team, be his girlfriend and dance with him like this, but she can’t find a single scrap of pleasure. 

It’s very reminiscent of her actual relationship with Finn. No pleasure, all subtle distaste. Quinn wonders why she just can’t seem to enjoy being with boys the way everyone else does. She chalks it up to not having found the right one yet, and keeps dancing with Finn because at least it’ll boost her popularity if nothing else.

•¥•

Slow dancing with Sam at her Winter Formal junior year is the most pleasant experience Quinn’s had yet. He smells better than both Finn and Patrick had, not as soft and sweet as she finds she’d like, but it’s definitely not harsh and it doesn’t hurt her nose. Sam is quite a bit shorter than Finn which makes the whole experience that much better, and the slow song playing isn’t entirely gag worthy.

Not only that, but Sam actually wanted to dance with her. Patrick had pitied that she had no one else and Finn had never really liked her, always gunning for Rachel Berry and only using her for the popularity. Sam had taken her for dinner and had spent the whole night making her laugh and for once Quinn actually enjoyed herself. Pressed against Sam it certainly wasn’t the worst experience she’d ever had, his hands were soft and he could actually dance a bit more than just swaying back and forth. Quinn really likes Sam, for real she thinks, for the first time. Sure nothing romantic really clicked, but Quinn thinks given time it might. “I really like you, Quinn,” Sam whispers into her ear.

“I like you too,” and she feels confident that in time romantic feelings will come.

•¥•

They don’t, which leads to her making some pretty crappy mistakes, and lands her slow dancing with Finn again at their junior prom. It’s still uncomfortable, he’s still too tall, she can’t seem to find a place to rest her head that’s comfortable, and there’s so many couples around them Quinn feels almost suffocated. All things considered though, Quinn had spent most of the night thinking Finn Hudson might’ve grown up a little, that he might actually like her this time. The corsage had certainly been indicative of that. He had thought out what would match her eyes, and had been happy to give it to her.

She thought maybe he’d actually liked her this time, and that maybe again with time she could figure out how to like him too, until she sees his eyes on Rachel Berry. She’s on the stage singing Jar of Hearts, which Quinn doesn’t really think is a good slow dance song, but she’s incredible as always, and whenever he’s facing her, he can’t take her eyes off her. It hurts a little, the way he’s so obviously in love with Rachel still, but she can’t really blame him because god for some reason tonight she just couldn’t keep her eyes off Rachel. 

The girl she usually torments looks absolutely stunning tonight, wearing a pink dress that Quinn thinks looks gorgeous on her. Whenever Finn manages to turn away from Rachel, and Quinn can see her, she watches her, hates how Rachel’s eyes are filled with tears and how she is at least partially responsible for them. She wonders when that development occurred, feeling bad for Rachel Berry wasn’t usually in her wheelhouse. Especially not when she was trying to steal her boyfriend. It’s weird, but Rachel is beautiful, and Quinn can’t stop thinking about her, even in the arms of the boy she should be thinking about.

•¥•

When Quinn slow dances at Mr. Schue’s wedding, it’s with a partner she never expected. Sure her and Santana are more than a little drunk, but it’s weirdly satisfying. Santana has an arm wrapped around her neck, Quinn’s hand around her waist, and their hands not clinging to each other are intertwined on her left. Santana is just shorter than Quinn so there’s no uncomfortable shifting as she tries to set her head somewhere, and Santana just tucks her head close to her neck. Unsurprisingly, Santana also smells way nicer than any of the boys she’d ever danced with, something flowery and sweet. “I’ve never slow danced with a girl before,” she says, without much thought, “I like it.”

Santana gives her a weird look and suddenly, everything clicks into place. Oh fuck. She’s _gay_. It all makes sense, terrifying, horrifying, life changing sense, and it’s all happening when she’s holding Santana in her arms. Quinn remembers how much she just couldn’t develop a crush on Patrick, how Finn was always a no go, and how no romantic feelings could be mustered for Sam Evans, the best man she’s ever known. No wonder, they were all boys, and she liked _girls_.

It makes her think of Rachel Berry, and how she’d had so much trouble taking her eyes off her that night at junior prom and everyday after that. She thinks of Rachel and the metro passes and everything she wanted to build with her and it just makes so much _sense_. She can’t believe she was so blind before. She looks up at Rachel then, and the girl she’s pretty she spent most of high school in love with (holy fuck, it was blindingly obvious to come to that conclusion now that she’s actually _thinking_ about the evidence) is looking at Finn like he hangs the stars and it fucking hurts. God, maybe that was why she had been so opposed to them getting married. She files it away though, because clearly whatever she wanted to happen with Rachel wasn’t going to happen. Quinn focuses back in on Santana, a little jittery due to her recent revelation. The girl in her arms was still giving her the best dance she’d ever had, and that deserves her attention.

What they do later, only serves to finish the job in proving Quinn is gay.

•¥•

The slow dancing moment that really seals the deal for Quinn though, is three and a half months into her relationship with Rachel. They’re at some seedy bar Santana had dragged them to, and the band played I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing, which Quinn is more than willing to admit is a bit cheesy, but Rachel had dragged her to the floor, and she was hard pressed to deny Rachel anything these days.

They’d started dating shortly after Quinn started her third year at Yale, and while long distance was hard, it was certainly more than worth it, especially with Rachel in her arms. This was the first time they’d slow danced together, and Quinn can’t help but remember the last time she’d done this with someone. Santana had been standing in her arms, a little taller than Rachel now, and it had dawned on Quinn that she was gay. With Rachel now, she’s more than a little happy that she came to that conclusion. 

Rachel’s swaying a little, quietly singing the words of the song under her breath, big brown eyes looking up at her, and it might just be the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen. This is what she’d been looking for every time she’d slow danced since she was thirteen. Rachel fit perfectly in her arms, with Quinn’s around Rachel’s waist and Rachel’s around Quinn’s neck. It’s better, holding Rachel close, than it had been with Patrick or Finn or Sam or even Santana, and she knows it’s because she loves her. 

It’s then that Quinn knows for certain that Rachel is the one for her. She knows it’s all too soon for her to be thinking like that, but her brain jumps there and suddenly she can’t stop thinking about it. The two of them dancing barefoot in a new apartment that belongs to both of them, them dancing in the middle of the night drunk and happy. She thinks of their wedding, of the glee club singing for their first dance because she knows Rachel wouldn’t have it any other way, she thinks of Rachel being her wife and holding her close like this after declaring their love in front of everyone they knew. It’s a dream, and she can’t believe it was spurred by something she’d done half a dozen times before, and never felt a damn thing. She supposes that’s what love is. 

“I love you,” Rachel says, voicing her thoughts.

Quinn knows then, with absolute certainty, that this is a romantic declaration she can agree to. It’s nearly midnight in a dark, dirty bar, but Quinn finally feels the thing she knows she was supposed to slow dancing all those times before, and she voices it without fear. “I love you too,” she says, and when Rachel smiles that perfect smile, Quinn knows without a doubt that this girl is who she wants to slow dance with for the rest of her life.

**Author's Note:**

> anywho, hope you liked this, I will try to have a new chapter of wwbtfatfbt (that acronym needs work) by the end of the week, but you know what holidays are like, so no promises. Feel free to kudos and comment if you liked it, and also I would love it if you checked out my other fics and did the same there! Have a wonderful holiday if that is something you celebrate.


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